Following on from the three previous posts and videos reporting from our evening in London with Dr David Paul, I thought you might like to also review the feedback from the group discussion.
GROUP DISCUSSION ….. What are the leadership qualities of women that will help build robust structures? What are the qualities that women are bringing to achieve these better results?
Group One
Women’s natural ability to collaborate
To ask for opinions
Research is showing that 85% of intelligence is emotional intelligence, something which is much more natural for women – sometimes, being known as ‘emotional’ is spoken about as being a negative trait in women, but it is actually very positive.
The women who have become leaders: they have developed the confidence to trust their instincts;
They listen to the people around them not only listening to what is being said but also what is NOT being said. This leads them to ask more questions giving people the space to fully express more of their ideas.
Group Two
Grace – coming from their experience and knowledge
Compassion coming from deep experience
Courage – women have generally have had to break through barriers and shift out of her comfort zone
Accepting of people
Engender trust in those around them
Treat people with respect, so they feel listened to
Inclusive … treating people as equals
Respectful
Open
Create an atmosphere of friendship and trust where people can do their best
Nurture and take care of people
A mother’s instinct for life … they want to protect (even for women who are not parents)
Shakti power … very powerful !
Group Three
The moral compass applies to men and women
Love
Collaboration
Trust and honesty
Caring
Family and tribe
Nourishing and nurturing
Co-creating
Cooperating rather than competition because that creates separateness
Listening
Group Four
Awareness, noticing things in context and really listening holistically, being fully aware
Service – it’s not about me
Quiet persistence, not a big force…. like water dripping on a stone
Ability to integrate and cross boundaries
Harmonizing
Group Five
Leaning in, whole body, full body … really listening
Inclusivity
Compassionate
Vulnerability
Empathetic
Authentic
Spatial awareness
Emotional intelligence
Body awareness
Heart centredness
Curiosity
Excellence
Strength
Care
Love
Intuition
Relatedness
Creativity & co-creativity
Collaboration
Tend and Befriend
Generative
Generosity
Curiosity
Support and championing
Ferocity
Bitch Goddess!
Integrity
Non-judgement
The Athena Doctrine book by Dr John Gerzema & Michael A’Antonio presents traits and attributes which a research group of 64,000 people ascribed to either feminine or masculine, or neutral, and then mapped out these same traits that were desired for future Leadership, Morality, Happiness and Success. These key desirable traits are: Intuitive, expressive, reasonable, collaborative, passionate, empathetic, selfless, flexible, loyal and plans for the future, and they were all listed under the category that the research group agreed were feminine.
Following the previous three videos, here, during the final part of our evening on Feminine Leadership, Dr David Paul answers questions.
Question: How is credibility different to being authentic? Dr David Paul responds: Credibility is what you have earned your stripes about. For example, in the book Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell says that you earn your stripes by doing something for 10,000 hours. I wrote to him and asked him why the four zeros why not three or five? It’s a round figure but it is about the quality of what you do, how well you do it and how well you master it that gives you credibility. Anyone that you venerate ….. anyone where you think that’s amazing, they have put in those hours. That’s what we credit them with. So credibility is about earning your stripes because you can speak from a space of true expertise.
Don’t confuse expertise with experience either. They are two very very different things. One that gives you authority, the other gives you credibility. Authority is all about what it is you have learnt, what experience gives you is how to help others, how to guide, how to move them forward …. and find what’s the next step. You will prevent them from making the same mistakes because you’ve got experience. As an example, if I’ve have studied the theory of swimming I can tell you how to swim but if I can’t swim myself, I can’t save you in the water. But if I am an experienced swimmer, I will combine both my understanding of techniques as well as my experience to save you from drowning.
Most people speak from experience …. And experience is always about the past, it’s not about the future. So I cannot tell you anything about experience going forward this year but I can tell you everything about experience from today going backwards. It worries me when people ask: have you got enough experience? Would you want an eye surgeon operating on your eye with experience from 30 years ago? No, I don’t, I want the person who has the latest experience because technology has changed, ideas have changed, even the techniques of operations have changed. It is important to keep up with what the latest.
It is important for people to prove a credible history. Because if we don’t then we can’t prevent, and if you can’t prevent then you are always dealing with symptoms and not the cause. And we want to deal with the cause these days. Right now, all the global governments, especially the G8 and the G20 don’t want to look at cause. And so we’re still in a global crisis because we’re not willing to look at cause. We paper over the cause and just deal with symptoms
Keep on the cutting edge of your field To be an expert, to be at the cutting edge of what you do … expertise is all about what I know and what I need to be. Collaborating with other experts in the fields to keep me on the cutting edge. An expert is about knowing your area, and you are the only expert in your particular area because you bring your particular slant or perspective .. nobody in the world can do what you do. We each need to find what we are good at and then be an expert in that specific space. The moment you say Oh but there are thousands of people doing what I do, you have lost the cutting edge. You have not pioneered the very edge of what it is that you are good at and you are still searching.
The self-inflicted trap of feeling that you don’t know enough GL: I have personally found that advice from you to be awesome David. It’s really been very helpful because I do tend to say … there are so many people with more experience who have the thoughts that I have. I can sometimes put myself down. And then I remember that it’s about my take on something … I have my own special perspective and experience to bring to the conversation. Instead of thinking oh they know more than me, I remember what it is that I bring that is uniquely mine. It’s the female trap of not knowing enough. I see this in other women going on course after course when they know so much already. Particularly when we reinvent ourselves in later life, it’s difficult to know the moment when we are ready to “graduate”. It’s hard for women to know when they are “ready”. We are indeed ready to step out there now. The world needs us with what we have now
DP:if you don’t already know what your calling is, make 2014 the year when you at least start the journey. At least be a disruptor to people’s thinking. If you can’t be a disruptor then be a connector …. Connect people, bring them together. If you can’t be a connector, then be so radical that you transform the space that you are in. Be inspiring or be engaging. At the end of the day, we all have to be compelling …. Whatever the message is, we all have to be compelling.
Gina Lazenby opens: David you work with some very high profile women leaders … tell us something about how they got there. What makes them different to get to where they have got to? We only know them through the filter of the media, we don’t really know what they are like.
Three particular qualities of women’s leadership Dr David Paul responds:Let’s look at three particular qualities that they have. And I’m not talking about managing, I am talking about leading. Very, very different.
1 Credibility how credible are you with your message ….. And the message does not change by the way. It’s not a different message every day. It’s the credibility of the individual …. And as a result of that credibility you have the credibility of the message.
2 Connection – a bringing together of heart and mind Connection also means relationship, and collaboration. It has to be what’s called a true connection. Not just: it’s nice to meet you. Not just having strong networks but having a holistic approach to that connection. So that you are engaging the whole of me not just the mind part of me or not just the heart part of me. It’s a bringing together of the heart and mind in a very different way. If you practice that in 2014 you’ll see the difference that you will make. People will notice, they will say what has she got? I want some of that. You will be emanating the energy of true connection, people will feel this.
3 Being truly authentic The depth of that should transform every interaction when you are truly authentic. You don’t have to strive to change something, it comes to you because you are being.
GL: Have you noticed that some of the women you have worked with have become more authentic when they have moved into their top high-profile leadership position? Sometimes perhaps women try to be who they think people want them to be because the way to reach people has been through the filter of the media. So we don’t necessarily know who these women really are … it seems to me that when these women get to high places of power they become different when they are there. Are you saying that they are authentic all the way through this journey to the top and it’s maybe the way the media are presenting them?
DP:Those who we truly respect and venerate, not those who we see through the media lens …. For those there is no media lens. It is just who they are. Talking about Gandhi and Mother Theresa, you don’t see them in any different light through the media than who they truly are/were. There is an authentic beingness. It is something that transcends presentation.
GL: The last couple of years the key word has been authenticity. That’s the journey for all of us now, to get into that space, especially with the different way that we communicate now with social media. We are in direct communication with the world instead of having a PR company present our image to the world. There used to be a separation where there was the work me, and the private me. It’s all the same now. It’s not about hiding anything, it’s about who am I and how do I present myself to the world?
Authenticity is the key to a new leadership DP:When we are authentic there is no need for ego. We say that in a room full of egos, everyone goes out stupid because that is what the ego does. It prevents you from being that. And I think the connection between leadership and the collective is about being truly authentic. There is something that we have forgotten about being authentic in our journey towards profits and achieving something.
GL: It’s not in our culture and it’s not in our business training. We focus more on the image that we present to the world than we do authenticity. There is no honesty there. What I have seen in British politics is that if individuals speak as an authentic voice with messages that they feel they need to express, rather than towing the party line ….. They either have a very short a life in politics or they get towed in. Politics has not so far allowed the people to be authentic voices.
Attention to ‘Being’ is the way to authenticity DP:I think is not about allowing something it’s about being, because the moment that you allow you have to deal with so many variables … but when you are truly being you there is a level of credibility that nothing can touch. And the power of the collective is power of being authentic.
QUESTION FOR GROUP DISCUSSION …..
What are the leadership qualities of women that will help build robust structures?
What are the qualities that women are bringing to achieve these better results? … see the transcript of the report back from the group.
This is the second video in the series recorded when Dr David was in London in January 2014. He spoke at a special evening on feminine leadership and was in conversation with Gina Lazenby. The transcript of the conversation is below. The dialogue was about …….
the power of changing our conversations
the personal responsibility we each need to take
the importance of individual behaviour change – break the micro patterns!
Change is beckoning… especially at the start of 2014 Gina Lazenby opens: Just referring back to this idea of a movement, and action… the change that we want to see in the world, especially now as we are entering a new year and thinking do we want another year to be the same as before?! …… change is beckoning at every quarter, everything seems to be calling for change. This can be very overwhelming ….. Where do we start? What do I do? You’ve talked about the importance of conversations, those that we have in the elevator, by the water cooler. I have been inspired to use my women’s gatherings to ask the group big questions, taking the conversation beyond what the needs of the women are to now talking about what we might do or say for example, if we had the ear of the leader of our country. We are certainly having bigger conversations. You seem to be making this accessible by saying it’s just about conversations. Speak to the small approaches that we can make it to the big problems.
The small approaches that we can make to the big problem Dr David Paul responds:Generally with change we tend to use the word “WE”. “We need to do this. All others need to do that”. The neuroscience research is showing that the word WE needs to be changed to I. “What do I need to do to change?”. It’s interesting because when you change what it is you do, you disrupt your own thought patterns which causes the change and people notice that change and say to you that you’re different from last year/last time. And this is because you have broken a pattern. I said before that we need to break the rules and change the game and part of the journey for us in 2014 is not ending up in the same space as we did at the end of 2013.
I don’t want to end up in the same space and I hope that none of us do. To change that I need to change what I do every day. I’ll give you an example: when I get up in the morning because of my patterns and my efficiency, I button up my shirt the same old way every day. Or I have the same routine in the shower every day. Can I challenge you in 2014 to do it so differently that even you are surprised by it? Why? Because you are creating new neural pathways. And when you do that I think we bring about a change. 2014 should be so vastly different to 2013 …. But that change begins with me. The familiar also holds you down to the status quo.
GL: That’s the thing about the beginning of the year… Those of us who are really engaged as change-makers, we see not only a New Year but also a new epoch, a new era … there’s a hunger for change. I know the words of Ghandi, I can hear them inside my head ….“To be the change that you want to see in the world” but I am now hearing them differently, I am thinking about the small things. I don’t normally think of those but that is what you are saying … it is the small actions that WILL make the difference. They will change our patterns and our behaviours so that we think about things differently.
DP:Also Ghandi’s message is for each individual. Be the change that you want to see. He didn’t say be the change and we ALL need to do it. It’s me, it’s I. And unless we start to do that, we are not going to see the WE. Because when we say the WE I always think that somebody else can do that.
Dr David was in London in January 2014. He spoke at a special evening on feminine leadership. The conversation with Gina Lazenby was recorded and edited into four parts. This is the first video in the series, with a transcript of the conversation. The dialogue was about …….
how will women use their power when they do get to the top?
how do we challenge the norm and change the game?
what the age of disruption means
how big movements start with small actions, the power of the dedicated few
TRANSCRIPT:
Gina Lazenby opens: Lots of our conversations at the Brooklyn Institute in Sydney have been about women getting in to leadership positions. One of the measurements for that has been the number of women on boards (this is the case for many countries). We are there in such few numbers, and it is the same for women CEOs.
Research shows that women on boards do have an impact. Research from Credit Suisse highlighted in The Athena Doctrine book says that large companies (with a market valuation over $10 billion) with women on their Boards outperformed companies with men-only Boards by 26% over five years.
that is a great statistic to show what women can do ….
But that is not really the game …
what you have said before is being there is not enough … what do we do with the power when we are there? One of the things you talked about is challenging and changing the norms … changing and upsetting the status quo. Is that enough for us to aim to get on to boards? … and are we going to change the game when we get there?
ALSO …..This week in the newspapers .. commentary from the Consumer Electronic Show in Las Vegas, this newspaper report referred to the Age of Disruption. Brilliant new gadgets are coming on stream that will change the way we raise money, the way we monitor our health, our home security .. all these new technologies are exciting and game-changing and it says they are a “stark challenge to established ways of doing business… the major trends at the show have major potential to upset the status quo challenging the business models of large companies and raising big questions about how government runs public services and seek to control the economy”. This is a great metaphor for this conversation about women needing to challenge the status quo.
It’s time for women to challenge the norms Dr David Paul responds:You asked some very interesting questions, big questions. Changing the norm does not happen on a global scale. It happens at the level of one-to-one. And it is the power of the collective that makes the difference. So my conversation with you, as a result of what we are talking about tonight, and then your conversation with somebody else… and then their conversation … etc …… is the one that makes the biggest change. But more often than not we tend to have conversations that have no purpose apart from a discussion.
I think one of the things we need to do is rather than discussing in 2014 we need to say what can we do? What is the outcome of this discussion and every discussion then becomes a game-changer.
So that article you are talking about is where they have gone beyond discussion … they are now into Apps. So what are the Apps doing? They are actually creating moments of action, moments of Let’s Change the Game. So, for us to go forward this year I think is about breaking some of those rules. Norms are there to hold us to those rules but they have been invented a long time ago ….. It’s about breaking the rules and changing the game.
GL: One of the things that you have said to me was a wonderful phrase Radical Revolutionary Reform. I was struck by you saying that since Women got the vote, and we got together to do that, we haven’t come together as a movement of women. What I do notice when I travel is the huge number of women’s networks, organisations and communities who are gathering. There are so many more opportunities for women to congregate and connect. The woman who runs the Global PA network said that in the 1990s there were 8 to 10 women’s networks in London. Now there are more like 800+ just in London. Women are connecting globally and the Feminine Power network have had as many as 100,000 women on phone calls. in about 2010, Maria Shriver had a women’s event that was sold out to over 30,000 women in LA. There is a lot happening in this rise of the feminine. How do we create a second movement, a coordinated movement?
It’s time for a holistic movement of women (and men) all connecting together DP:I would say a holistic movement. Some of the discussions we had tonight, each one has said we need both (men and women) …. Part of that is harnessing the energy of both and a movement is always created by a small handful of dedicated individuals. It has never happened any other way. So as impressive as 30,000 women gathering in one place is, my question would be what have they done?
GL: That is a great question!
The importance of the Dedicated Few DP:And you don’t need 30,000. In fact, stats show. We only need 12 ½% of committed individuals to bring about a change. In this room that would be 2 ½ people. But imagine if ALL of us did it? That would make a difference. It’s not about the great movements and the great numbers, it’s about the commitment of the dedicated few. And massive change has happened because of that. Mahatma Gandhi in 1947, when the British were taxing the salt in India. He said, well let’s make our own salt. It didn’t take millions of individuals, all it took was a handful of people to say I can make my own salt. Break down the big goal into smaller pieces… the book you have to write, just start with one chapter so that it does not feel like a mountain to climb.
The key is to break it down into something small … then it is achievable. GL: Something that stuck with me last year as a game changer was hearing the news about the government shutdown in America. It was because the Senate could not come to an agreement. Then three weeks later there was a breakthrough. Sen Mark Pryor was speaking on television news crediting a small group of women senators who had come together to create a small working group to open up negotiations and help break the deadlock. These women were from a cross party group of 20 women senators, who regularly met for pizza supper and baby showers. They had developed relationships and formed community. This is what they were able to leverage at that moment of need when all the dialogue between the male senators had stopped. Because the men couldn’t agree their communication had degraded down to insults. Nobody was able to move forward.
Women are already changing the game
So the women asked, what would it take to move forward? What are we each prepared to give, be flexible with, in these negotiations? The women Senators led this new conversation. It was great that the male senators took time to publicly acknowledge the role of the women senators. The men said they just stood back and watched the women at work, and learned from them. We women need to do more of that. It was great that the men championed this and so publicly acknowledged the role the women played.
What are the qualities that women are bringing to achieve better results? DP: Perhaps we should ask: What are the qualities that will take us forward from 2014 for the next six years until 2020? What other qualities we need to bring about the global change?
Group Discussions: What are the leadership qualities of women that will help build robust structures? It is clear that when we are in positions of power, and in quantity, we are making a difference. Recent research highlighted by the Athena Doctrine book showed that over a nine year period, hedge funds run by women outperformed those run by only men. What are the qualities that women are bringing to achieve these kind of results?
On January 8, 2014 we were extremely lucky to have Dr David Paul visit London on his way back to Sydney, Australia. As a much sought-after MBA educator and advisor to government leaders in G20 countries, David knows a thing or two about leadership and his favourite subject …. complex change. His skill is to be able to show people with great clarity the very different and simple approaches that are now being called forth in order to answer the world’s pressing and complex problems.
A group of 20 men and women professionals gathered at my London home and as we opened the evening circle, we discussed what had called us to be present that evening. People shared their passion for the subject of feminine leadership; an interest in the emerging role of women, feminine wisdom, the new language required to talk about gender, the different values expressed by the feminine and masculine, how caring and love are increasingly important in business today, how leadership is changing and the role women are playing. As you can imagine, with a room full of leaders and change-makers passionate for the subject, it made for a very exciting atmosphere. The conversation was extremely rich.
I have had the honour to interview David three times before in Sydney and from this huge repository of material created over the last 18 months I have published 13 video conversations about feminine leadership. They are a goldmine of information (I should write a book!). I have found them to be personally life changing for me.
On this evening we continued the thread of our previous dialogue. There are four videos …. each one has been fully transcribed. It’s a wonderful resource if you too are interested in the conversation of:
* the rise of women,
* the changing nature of leadership,
* the increased appreciation of feminine values
* and insights into the way gender balance will affect the world.
There is also a blog post collating the groups’ discussion and report back on the question: what are the qualities that women are bringing to achieve outstanding financial results in business? (videos will be loaded during January)
how will women use their power when they do get to the top?
how do we challenge the norm and change the game?
what the age of disruption means
how big movements start with small actions, the power of the dedicated few
Video 2:
the power of changing our conversations
the personal responsibility we each need to take
the importance of individual behaviour change – break the micro patterns!
Video 3:
the high profile women leaders in government and business that David has mentored have three particular qualities expressed in their leadership – what are these?
Video 4:
Q&A session with David where he makes key distinctions about the difference between credibility and being authentic
Blog post 5:
The qualities and traits of women that achieve different outcomes in business – better culture, higher returns on investment, more profitability.
I’d be interested to hear your thoughts in the comments below …. are there any insights in here that speak to you?
A little bit about Dr David Paul’s background
Dr David Paul is a unique specialist in new forms of Leadership, Complexity and Large-Scale Organisational Change. He is an experienced educator, senior advisor and confidential mentor to CEOs, Heads of Government and Ministers. David teaches in post-grad management and leadership programs in Australia, Asia and Europe and has lectured to over 25,000 MBA managers & executives as well as has facilitating over 1500 seminars and workshops in complexity, change and leadership.
David regularly advises public and private companies and their senior teams, including the 2008 Beijing Olympics Committee, in the area of large-scale organisational transformation. David has often worked on highly classified assignments with heads of governments in the areas of Leadership, Complex Change and transforming internal cultures.
The winner of the Templeton Prize, established author, leading academic, Biologist, Philosopher, Ecologist, renowned Scientist and Emeritus Professor Charles Birch, (Presented with the prize at Buckingham Palace as the equivalent of the Nobel Prize in Science and Philosophy, as there is no Nobel Prize in this field), wrote in his book “Regaining Compassion”: “I dedicate this book to David Paul…. He combines a commitment and openness which I find quite rare these days. His life has been a light on the path for many who have been fortunate enough to come to know him. Through knowing him I have asked questions, I would not have asked and pursued issues I would not otherwise have explored”.
Feminine Leadership Today 