Why make life harder when all you need to do is ask for help?!

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#AndyLopata, #AskforHelp, #JustAsk, #networking, ginalazenby, Lady Val Network

Andy Lopata is a leading networking strategist. He has written four books on networking and often been quoted in the media, including The Sunday Times, The Financial Times and Inc. In fact, the FT called Andy ‘one of Europe’s leading business networking strategists’ and both Forbes.com and The Independent called him ‘a true master of networking’.

Workshop leader Andy Lopata with Lady Val at her Professional Women’s Lunch

Andy opened his afternoon workshop at Lady Val’s Professional Women’s lunch with a plea for us to “please stop lying!.”  He explained that we are doing this every single day when we respond to the questions: 

“How are you?” … “How’s work?”  with … “I’m fine”. 

He says this is a bad habit when often we are not fine and actually could do with some help! The problem is, so few of us are open to letting people in to help us.

Andy has developed a passion to help people open up

A member of the PSA (Professional Speakers’ Association), Andy recalled being at a PSA event in Reading, at a time while his business was struggling. The speaker asked a simple question. What is the status of your business?  Is it Growing, Scaling, Stable, or in Decline? Andy realised that even in the company of his own tribe, his closest community, he was not able to be honest. Nobody was able to acknowledge whether their business was in trouble and in need of help. And the room was full of people who could help.

Andy is seeing this as a big trend. People are beginning to realise that they need to start being open and vulnerable instead of feeling the need to look good and strong to those around them. Nobody wants to look weak or feel a failure and yet our inability to be honest and ask for help can really hold us back. Of course it is natural to want to look good and strong to our peers. 

Instead, finding a way to open up to the all the resources that are around us, inside the contacts the we already have, will help us move forward.  Stop worrying about how you look, be honest with yourself and ask for help. Then you can tap into the resources that are in the room at whatever network or community event you are attending.  We are always surrounded by answers. Just let them in by asking for help.

Andy tested the workshop audience. He came up with two common challenges that affect people in business and asked if we are facing these right now (hold up a red card); or if we have faced the challenge in the past but overcome it (hold up a green card); and if we have faced it in the past, overcome it but the challenge has come back (hold up both cards). 

1 Time Management .. look round and see who is holding up a green card and could help you? If they have a red card then you know you have much to share with a common problem. 

2  Courage of your convictions…. confidence to speak out about your beliefs? 

It is our networks that are vital to us for support

When we look around and see who has the same challenge as us, and notice who has overcome that challenge, it creates a bridge for sharing and having honest and open conversations that could be transformative to our life and business.

Andy’s experience and insights have been channeled into a book coming out next year called “Just Ask”.  He interviewed a wide range of people all over world, in business, music industry,  politics … and gathered helpful insights  and true stories where people overcame their blocks to reach out for transformative help.  He said it was interesting discussing with UK politicians James Cleverly and Jo Swinson if we could allow our politicians to be wrong?

Let others in so they can make a difference in our lives

What beliefs do we have from our upbringing or life experience that stop us from reaching out for help or support? Andy has a strong background in networking and he wants to encourage us to let in colleagues and friends from our trusted networks to become resourceful allies to help us overcome problems. Don’t think that you have to face everything alone. Somebody, somewhere has experienced the same as you have and has overcome it .. in fact you might actually find that most people have had the same experience.

Do men find it more difficult than women to ask for help?

So much of this is tied to cultural difference. That is probably the case in very patriarchal societies or macho, male-dominated work places.  Yes women are more used to asking, and also to supporting each other. Men can seem to prefer to find solutions by themselves. At the core, this is a human need and will be expressed differently according to the influence of culture and what is held to be appropriate. In Hillary Clinton’s last book she revealed that she had a close inner circle of trusted female friends and colleagues to whom she would open up.  That is something we all need. Andy’s research reveals that women have circles of trust that includes both men and women. The safer the space that we can create, the more we feel we can trust and reach out. Women have had support communities for years and now men are finding this is now available to them with an increase in the number of men’s groups.

 

The Vulnerability Wheel ..

This is a tool that helps you to make an assessment for different areas of your life and work. That leads to an action plan (overleaf) in terms of you as an individual, your organisation and you as a leader. (Link to download this Wheel here Andy Lopata Rules of Asking. ).

 

 

Mastermind groups are vital

Finding a group of colleagues to work with, with whatever connection seems appropriate (for example same industry or location, same chapter or club members, graduates of a programme) is so helpful. This group can evolve over time into a really safe space to share our deepest fears and get valuable input for moving forward. It is almost impossible to lie in such an intimate group and candour is always rewarded. If you are not already in such a group it is worth finding one or even creating one.

Can we be honest at work?

Not every corporate culture is predisposed to openness and honesty, unfortunately. And even where this culture of open sharing does exist, the business can go through cycles where fear takes over. If employees sense that their leaders are holding back about the future of the company, it can really create an atmosphere of fear and distrust. If this goes on too long, it can be highly toxic and drive people out. Transparency, with agreed boundaries, is vital for a healthy office culture. We all need to feel safety at work to express ourselves and trust the company’s vision and direction (perhaps that is a new dimension to add to what can sometimes seem an old bugbear ‘Health & Safety’!).

What about honesty in Leaders?

Leaders have to be authentic. In times of difficulty and massive change, such as many companies and organisations are facing now with the uncertainty of Brexit looming, no single individual can hold a mandate to make change by themselves. They have to unburden, unload and share or they will simply burn out. Leaders have to give confidence and they do this by being truthful and authentic, not by trying to be positive.  

Leadership and vulnerability

There is a fine line in authentic leadership of presenting capability and confidence, and honesty about the real situation. Each person has to find their own natural path to being friendly and connected to their team, while still commanding respect. You need both modalities not just one. It really is OK not to have all the answers. The important thing is be on the quest for solutions and involve others in this. 

Easier to support others!

Just like advice is easier to give than to receive … many of us can find it easier to offer help than accept it. Get over that! As Andy says “Just ask!” Check out this handout from Andy Andy Lopata Rules of Asking

Andy Lopata is an author, speak and professional networking strategist

Connect with him on LinkedIn

Lady Val’s Next Lunch event in London is on Thursday 28th November

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A roadmap for the Shift that the world needs, and it looks quite feminine

Gina Lazenby at the book launch with author Prof Vlatka Hlupic & launch MC Philip Whiteley, business author & champion for re-humanising management

It would be an understatement to say that the world needs change….. I am not going to waste your time here by listing everything that isn’t working in this economic and political mess. If anybody interested in political change thinks that voting for UKIP in the UK is a real vote for a real party with actual practical solutions they must be .. no, I am not going to use any adjective there. Suffice to say I don’t agree with them.

So, when you come across a discourse where a new voice is presenting new solutions it is indeed refreshing. And I was there last week.  It was the launch for The Management Shift, a book by consultant/academic and Drucker Society CEO Prof Vlatka Hlupic.   Some may say her ideas are not new at all, that they have been around for years and it’s certainly true that her dialogue is very familiar to me from 20 years of being involved in leading-edge thinking and ideas. What is new is that Prof Hlupic has created a roadmap around a conversation of change in business that has a real track record of success.

A Call to Break Out of Traditional Management Structures
At the heart of what she is offering, Prof Hlupic provides a language that describes most approaches to business today as being “Traditional” and what she calls Levels one, two or three:  wedded to hierarchy, fixed on control and often deeply unpleasant and toxic places to work where extensive research says only a small percentage of people are happy and engaged. That’s no way to work or live for that matter.  And Prof Hlupic points out that’s no way to achieve growth and profit either, with much research to back up her claims.

When organisations start to shift with the right visionary leadership at the top, and an equally engaged grassroots commitment for change, Prof Hlupic says that “magic starts to happen” and these places transform into what she refers to as Level four businesses becoming “Emergent”. Those that have successfully shed their “Traditional” ways have been shown to increase their profits by 200-1000% in a year or two. Her book presents many case studies and testimonials of businesses which have successfully created the kind of magic required to move from Level three to Level four and achieved this “Shift”.

I am a woman who loves magic. I know what she is talking about. Changes in behaviour and thinking, environmental adjustments that shift the culture of a place and create new ways of working…. all these can have a massively transformative effect. Yet we humans, stuck in business tradition, can find it so hard to change! Where we have complex problems it can be tempting to think that the solutions have to be equally complex.  Not so at all.  However, when we do find simple ideas that work, it is almost human nature to resist them.

A Female voice for the Feminine Future
I am always looking to bring in the feminine perspective and the role of women so there are two things to note here. Firstly, this is a well-researched futuristic business book that has been written by a woman. I do need to flag that up because so few books are. There are many leading-edge thinkers in business, management and leadership and brilliant as they are, they are invariably male. It really is time to champion the few female voices in this field, especially since the future does look so feminine.

Secondly, without any reference to gender, much of what Prof Hlupic articulates in the book really does put centre stage the feminine way of working with the emphasis on how business needs to focus on people. As management guru Peter Drucker has said, people should not be seen as a cost centre or a resource to be utilised but as an asset for the business. Prof Hlupic says that business will become Level four “Emergent” organisations because they focus on their people by valuing connection, prioritising relationships and demonstrating caring and compassionate policies and practices.  Emergent Level four businesses will have dispensed with top-down hierarchy and will find more success by shifting to structures of smaller self-organised teams and groups making their own decisions.

Next Generation more adept at Emergent Thinking
Those organisations that remain stuck in the more “Traditional” ways of focussing on targets, leading and directing from the top, and running on the fuel of fear will increasingly find their success to be short-lived and unsustainable.  There’s no value in saying “but that has served us well so far”…… not in today’s brave young world where a college graduate working in his dorm can create a trillion dollar, game-changing platform on which the world now connects and ends up a billionaire in his twenties. That shows that there is a very different game being played, with different rules and in many cases … younger players with a much greater appetite for “Emergent” ways of running business.

Previously, Game-Changers and Titans of industry have been much older and earned their money out of building or moving actual physical things (roads, ships, mines, steel) rather than facilitating connection between people. Who would have thought that was possible?

Not only that …. what worked last year might not work next year, or even now. The game is constantly being changed so agility, innovation, flexibility and  creativity are critical, and it’s almost impossible to respond to the precociousness and fleet-of-foot nature of the current economy, with a “Traditional” business culture.  The strong addiction to hierarchy makes it difficult to respond to fast market changes and appetites with the kind of speed available to those that have shifted to being “Emergent” businesses.

Of course, the high profile poster boy for today’s “Traditional” Level three business is Lord Alan Sugar who points his finger at your face and shouts “You’re Fired!” at one of a group of terrified wannabee business hopefuls on the TV programme, The Apprentice. The programme might have run for a decade as a top BBC show, but it does not in any way shape or form reflect the future. No. No. NO!

Women can show the way to a kinder, more compassionate future that is more profitable
The future is actually much more aligned to how female CEO & industry leader Martha Stewart talks to her Apprentice hopefuls over in the USA. No finger pointing for her. She very gently smiles at them and says “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to let you go”. As they leave, she picks up a pen and starts to handwrite a sweet note to thank them, pointing out what they did well and what they can take away from their experience.  Of course not all managers are like Alan Sugar, and maybe all women are not like Martha but with so few women at the top, it’s hard to really recognise the difference that women can bring.

This vignette of Martha smacks very much of a way of being that is kind, thoughtful, more productive and one that women find more natural and authentic to them, yet these ways have not really been welcome as standard business practice. Prof Hlupic says that human caring practices are not only nicer for stressed workers, they actually make the organisation more money.

Undoubtedly we need more women at the top and exec levels of business. With only two of the top 100 firms in the UK having female CEOs, there is a clear imperative for a greater QUANTITY of women. However, if companies want to accelerate profits then bringing in more women is only part of the story …. welcoming the QUALITY of the feminine with a shift in values and traits is equally important and that involves men too, in creating a culture of kindness and caring focussed on people.  What is true is that these more feminine ways of being can certainly be expressed by both men and women and flourish in business cultures that support people being their authentic selves.

In her book, Prof Hlupic outlines a proven model for how a business can create that Magic Leap from “Traditional” Level three to becoming an “Emergent” Level four organisation….. where people and relationships are at the very heart of the business and how a more caring culture will be the reason for its greater success. Amazon link for the book.

I love this new and simple roadmap for a world in need of change!

NEW BOOK: A map to a new management emerges

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Management Shift Book, Prof Vlatka Hlupic

with Prof Vlatka Hlupic when she spoke at the House of Commons on Guy Fawkes night … auspiciously Nov 5th … releasing her intellectual fireworks blowing up people’s minds with her ideas for Emergent Leadership

Prof Vlatka Hlupic chose the infamous Guy Fawkes night of November 5th to appear at the UK’s House of Commons discussing her latest book on new management and leadership. Intellectual fireworks were the result as she shared the fruits of her 15 years of inter-disciplinary research and her passion for creating a new world of work.  Her goal with this latest book The Management Shift is to prove that making workplaces into happier and more purposeful environments not only nourishes the people who work there but also the profits.

What is clear is that Business As Usual is no longer an option … the global workforce is unhappy with consistent research highlighting that 70% of workers are disengaged and only 25% are passionate about what they do. This calls for a more enlightened approach to how business is done. Management and Leadership needs to change, or as Prof Hlupic calls it, “A Shift” is needed.

Having distilled extensive writings from leading thinkers, what Prof Hlupic has set out to prove is that by applying her Shift Principles to the way a business is managed, a company can increase both employee engagement and innovation resulting in a 200% increase in profits in just a couple of years. Her book gives examples of companies around the world who have done just this.

The bottom line of her economic prosperity plan is about caring for people. If you do this she says, then the people will care more about your business and they will deliver the profits … to a greater degree, than if you simply focussed on the profits directly without caring for the people in between. To me this smacks very much of a feminine way of doing business. When you examine what that means practically … the elusive HOW … it means a values shift at the heart of an organisation that really draws on what women are naturally good at. People, relationships, connection and listening, to name just a few aspects that women generally find easier.

A questioner from the audience complimented Prof Hlupic’s presentation and also pointed out that she had said nothing new.  He lamented that these ‘new’ ideas had been around 20 years and “we’ve made no progress in a generation!”. He was also disappointed that so many women entering senior business levels have felt the need to be like men. I absolutely agree.  What seems to be happening is that as women have increasingly been entering the higher levels of organisations in quantity, they have not necessarily been able to shift the quality of their contribution to something different. They have had to play the same game.

Men often criticise women for, in some cases, being more of a man than they are but I don’t think women do this willingly. Much of this behaviour change is unconscious as a means of surviving in the dominant masculine culture or ……  it is the game that women feel they are absolutely expected to play in order to succeed. There are so few examples of women at CEO levels playing their own game to be significant role models for other women, and to demonstrate other ways of doing things. It is changing and it seems here Prof Hlupic is providing a map for behaviour changes drawing on significant proven success where companies have tested out her ideas.   She stressed that the new contribution to this conversation of creating business that is better for society is the “HOW” to do it.

At the heart of Prof Hlupic’s Management Shift is the concept of 5 Levels of Leadership… the first three are Traditional relying on various forms of Command and Control structures, and which represent where most organisations are stuck today with disengaged employees and poor innovation. Levels 4 and 5 thrive on what Hlupic terms Emergent Leadership and this is where transformation and magic start to happen.

The fundamental shift that takes an organisation from Level 3 to Level 4 is what engages people and produces the greater profits from businesses which really take off and achieve their purpose delivering on a triple bottom line.  To get this 3 to 4 shift, Prof Hlupic takes an organisation through a 6-Box model which she described as an MRI scan of where they are now, versus where they could be if they shifted.

Prof Hlupic pointed out that Prof Richard Roberts’ extensive research into the global financial meltdown of 2008 came up with five key causes, of which the number one cause was autocratic executives, many of whom bullied their staff.  According to a report by the Committee looking into The Future of Leadership & Management, the cost of lost working hours because of poor management in the UK is almost £20 billion a year. This urgently needs to be remedied by organisations shifting their focus to what the report termed: “People, Purpose and Potential” in order to safeguard economic prosperity.  Quite clearly a revolution in management is needed. And with so few women in CEO and top executive positions, I feel this represents a huge opportunity for women to bring in a new way of managing and leading.

The woman known as the world’s CFO, Christine Lagarde, managing director of the IMF has often been quoted as saying that if the bank had been called Lehman Sisters it most likely would not have failed. This might bring a chuckle but this anecdote points to her serious thinking about the role of gender in good leadership practice and sound finance. The dominant culture running business is not only male, it’s white, privileged and straight. Innovation and creativity, and the resulting improvement in prosperity and success, will only come by engaging with, and welcoming, contributions from widely different viewpoints.

This can only happen in a diverse culture. But as Prof Hlupic pointed out, neuroscience explains why the status quo lingers on because it is so hard for humans to change …. our wiring makes us resist deeply anything new!  However, once we recognise that, we can actually make the changes needed and starting with gender parity in leadership and key decision-making is the first step in having truly diverse voices influencing the management and leadership which will future-proof our organisations.

• For the Management Shift she recommends, Prof Hlupic calls for:
  less or no hierarchy
  holistic thinking
  creating caring cultures
  being collaborative
  prioritising people & relationships
  making happiness important, instead of simply having money as the end goal

All of this is what women excel at, at least most women find these much easier and a more natural way of being in business. Yet the current business world does not value these priorities so women are often not rewarded or acknowledged when they make them part of their contribution. Caring and compassionate activities can be invisible while brasher, action-oriented, louder ways of making one’s presence known and one’s achievements seen are not necessarily the natural, comfortable currency of women. Sadly, what I see is that so much of what women do is like glue … once it has been provided and used it cannot be seen, yet without it nothing works.

For us to enter an era with a new language about the value of caring, people, relationships and purpose, it is clear to me that there’s a massive opportunity for women and a validation of a more feminine way of being in business. I think it is also important to stress that this new way of being is absolutely available to men as well. In fact, the more women can role model this, the easier it is for men to show their softer, more compassionate sides which they feel society wants them to keep locked away … to their own detriment, and everyone’s loss.

Women may depart from the corporate pipeline in droves leaving a vacuum at the top as they seek work opportunities where they are  appreciated, feel more autonomous and thrive in more compassionate environments, but some men are doing this too!  The current management and leadership paradigm serves neither women nor men.  As John Gerzema, co-author of the book The Athena Doctrine puts in the book’s sub-title “How women (and the men who think like them) will rule the future”.  Both men and women need to get behind this Shift which calls for these more feminine, caring, compassionate approaches to business.

In terms of the future, it is also worth noting Prof Hlupic’s comments about Millennials, those born from 1980, who only know a digital way of living and working. They are in the workplace now and they don’t appreciate or respect hierarchy. They want flexible working and more connection and will demand Level 4 Emergent leadership or will simply leave for another employer. This generation will demand change and will certainly drive it as they emerge into leadership themselves in the next few years. Several of them, empowered by the democratic opportunities of the internet, have even become billionaires in their twenties and are already driving change. Another contributor from last night’s audience also highlighted the urgent need to review the Command-and-Control nature of education which ill prepares the next generation for a world of work that will nourish them in a sustainable way. A shift in new thinking is needed for schools too.

Finally …. knowing that it is hard for any individual or group to let go of power, especially those in the Dominant Culture, Prof Hlupic reminded us of the power paradox where leaders who do let go of power will then find they get more back. It’s worth thinking about!

And as I sign off I’m reminded of this year’s movie of the year … at least for all the  girls around the world under 10 years old who are all word-perfect in the lyrics of the Oscar-winning song from Disney’s blockbuster movie “Frozen”. Check out thousands of videos on Youtube with 6-year olds reciting ‘Let it Go’…. there IS a  lesson in there for us adults from Elsa the teenage Ice Queen.  …..

“It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I’m free!
Let it go, let it go!! ”

The book is published later this month and promises to be a great read.

Forget Struggle, working with Joy is more effective

When I was in San Francisco at the Wisdom 2.0 event I interviewed speaker Jeanine Becker.

Jeanine Becker: Women are often coming from this place of “the only thing that is going to get us there is our struggle and effort”.  Switching that to “how can we be pulled by our joy and pulled by our passion?” …. Maybe with no less activity, but coming from an inspired place, coming from the desire of what we want to create, rather than coming from this idea of “if I don’t keep pushing I’ll never get there”.

Gina Lazenby: it’s funny, one of the reasons that women leave corporate life is that they have a bullying boss so they get out. They don’t always give the feedback that their boss has been bullying … but you can internalise that and be your own bullying boss and be very hard on yourself. We can’t afford to do that. And I think that’s why it’s important that we as women need to be connected, working and collaborating together, celebrating together because we can’t make ourselves ill with work, we have to enjoy it. We only have this one life, we might as well have work be an expression of our best us, and be a vehicle to bring our joy to the world.

JB: absolutely. I keep thinking about what Ariana Huffington said at the wisdom 2.0 conference about how we need to spend less time crafting our resume and more time creating what would be said in our eulogy. So, what is it that we want to be known for? What is the impact we want to make…. And it’s usually something bigger, big enough that it is beyond what I can do on my own, and so then it is about pulling in the right resources to help that happen and collaborating together.

GL: and that is something that women do very well, so we need to draw on every collaborative bone in our body and find others to work with, find out who they are, what’s important to them, and so expand our businesses, not just by our effort, but also by leveraging the skills of other people.

JB: I think the part that women do really well is that they enjoy building relationships. They don’t feel the need to do it alone, there is a desire to bring in others and there is often a willingness to see value in what others are bringing. Those are the pieces that I think women do really well…

GL: …. Seeing the value in others, yes, but not necessarily seeing the value in themselves!

JB: the second part is, they have to see as much value in what they are offering, in what they are bringing to the table and then being able to hold those as being equally valuable as they problem solve together towards a solution.

GL: thank you. We’ve had some benefit here of what your law students gets at Stanford. Forget working on your own,  I think the new way of doing business is really to seek out as many collaborative partners as possible so that we’re not lonely, and we’re bringing more joy and more success.

JB: yes ….. more meaning and more joy. And real business results.

Watch another video interview with Jeanine Becker where she speaks about the key ways to make collaboration work

Would troubled Qantas do better bringing in female leadership ? The data might support that option!

Troubled times ahead … Qantas flying into an uncertain future

When things get messy, maybe call in the women?

Qantas, the national airline of Australia and its proud international ambassador, is in trouble. Deep trouble. The kind that has produced losses of A$252 million over the last six months. The future looks bleak and uncertain. If Christine Lagarde, MD of the International Monetary Fund, were here in Sydney (as she was last weekend!) perhaps she would add some wisdom to the conversation. She has famously said “when things are in a mess, bring in the women” and her quote about Lehman Brothers potentially not failing the way it did if it had been Lehman Sisters is often repeated. Clearly Ms Lagarde believes women bring something different to the table, particularly in times of trouble.

Although Qantas CEO Alan Joyce, who has been at the helm for five years, has said he is committed to staying …… as the Financial Review newspaper rightly asks, can the shareholders afford to let him carry on? His restructure programme will involve the loss of 5000 jobs, wage freezes and talk of more industrial action. Does Mr Joyce have the unions on his side? Surely in such a crisis you need every constituent party to be fully enrolled in a way forward, all pulling together, otherwise you don’t stand a chance.

So why bring in a woman or women?  Because research is increasingly pointing to the contribution women make with their creativity, innovation and different thinking which is more and more impacting the resilience and profitability of both companies and nations.  During the five turbulent years from 2006, a Credit Suisse report found that large global corporations with women on their boards outperformed those organisations with men-only boards by 26%. Yes, Qantas has three women on its board but two of them have only been there six months and maybe that is too soon to have the necessary impact.

Nothing against men here, and nothing personal against Alan Joyce. He is a man of numbers, a Maths & Science graduate, but after more than five years leading the airline the numbers are nowhere near stacking up. It’s obviously a complex situation but I have to ask if perhaps a new set of leadership skills might serve the airline better right now. From what I am reading about the potential strife ahead and industrial relations turmoil with the airline’s 14 unions, maybe a focus on healing the fragmented relationships within might bring everyone on board to a single direction?  And here again, women have proven to lead the way with these kind of skills.

New research published in January 2014 cited that women presidents outperform their male counterparts in the most troubled nations. From a review of the 5,700 leaders of 139 nations over the last 50 years, came the surprising finding that these women-led economies produced a 6% GDP a year after the arrival of the female leader compared to less than 1% when a male was installed. Women’s collaborative, transformative, inclusive leadership style seems to be able to have most impact on countries which have been divided by ethnic conflict and inequality. The research authors talk of a motherly sensitivity and healing that might previously have been derided but now seems to be needed in complex situations, particularly ones with high levels of conflict and division.

Qantas would be one of those complex situations that might benefit from the transformative power of a woman leader. And two things to note.

Firstly, the old way of doing things has been to rely on the individual expert / leader. The media portrays a lone Alan Joyce carrying the weight of this disaster that affects an entire nation, on his shoulders. Today’s problems may be beyond the thinking of one single visionary individual who has the broad range of skills now needed by leaders including a warmer, more empathetic way of relating to people.

Maybe it’s time to shift where we look for answers and take an approach that includes more of the wisdom of the crowd and values a more diverse input. Everybody who works at Qantas will see something of the whole and could contribute to a new vision of success … they all have a vested interest to do so rather than simply putting energy into fighting for their jobs or against a freezing of wages. An inclusive, feminine leadership style would be ideal here.

Secondly, women have enormous practical and creative insights. Just reviewing a LinkedIN conversation in the Professional Women’s Network where 169 women have answered the question: “If I could snap my fingers and be the CEO of any company, I’d be the CEO of  (fill in the blank). And how would your leadership be the change you’d wish to see?”, many of the women’s answers show impressive innovative thinking. Perhaps, it is time to bring in the women. Their collaborative group thinking could well bring up answers not thought of before and maybe today’s complex challenges need that. Fill a round table with women and throw the Qantas dilemma out over lunch … see what happens!

Join our breakfast discussion this Tuesday March 4th in Sydney, Business Insights for Men on Women’s Leadership & Profits. See more details here.

3 key steps to collaborating

Attending Wisdom 2.0 in San Francisco last week meant I got to hear and meet some fascinating people. One of those was Jeanine Becker. When I heard that she taught collaboration my interest was stirred. In a world driven by competition, collaboration is one of the key feminine traits that needs to be developed. The word is increasingly being used but I don’t see that people really know how to do this. So many business partnerships and endeavours are built on collaborative effort at the outset but ultimately fail as people don’t know how to engage in a non-competitive way.

Where are the role models for collaboration? I don’t see it being taught as standard business practice. The default way of growing business is to keep a sharp eye out for what the competition are doing and then to do whatever it takes to grab a share of the market. New practices are being called for and not only are we being asked to do things differently – we are being required to set aside our egos and to change who we are being in business.

I relished the opportunity to interview Jean. We had a 30 minute discussion. This 6-minute video is the first part of our conversation (more to follow) where she explains the three key steps for collaborating successfully.

What does Feminine Leadership mean for men? Business Breakfast in Sydney

Event: Business Briefing over Breakfast, Tues Nov 26th, Sydney CBD, Deutsche Bank Square – 7.30am start (one hour) BOOK HERE

Well I am absolutely delighted to be asked by the Brooklyn Institute to speak at an event specifically addressed to men … women are welcome too … but the thrust of the conversation is: what does this conversation about Feminine Leadership mean to men?  Is it threatening? Can they get on board? How can they leverage it as an opportunity?

The rise of women in all areas of public life is a key global trend and one which will absolutely transform business. The effect will increasingly be felt throughout society – in family life, in relationships, in communities, in government and very much so in the domain of work. Perhaps at one time, as women started to enter the workplace in great numbers from the 1960s, women moving up the ranks was seen as something to be feared. Will they ruin everything? Can they do the job?  … and as well as men?

A few decades later and we have a wealth of data that shows women are making a huge contribution, not only to the economy, but also to the increased profit levels of businesses that are smart enough to leverage the female talent pool they have. In fact, you could almost say that women pretty much are a secret weapon which can make the difference. However if we do say that then we getting into the very male language which women shy away from!

WORKSHOP ON WEDNESDAY Nov 27th: Everything that will be covered at the Breakfast will be a synopsis and insight into the women-only program being delivered on Wed Nov 27th, a one day workshop for professional women on how “Feminine Leadership holds the key to Business Success”. See the here for workshop details and last minute bookings.

The difference that women do make:

1. Companies with women at the top are much more successful
2. Even one woman on a Board makes a company 20% less likely to go bankrupt
3. Hedge Funds run by women significantly outperform those run by men

Key points that will be talked about:

• what does adding the word feminine to leadership mean?
• why women have not made it to the top (some insider secrets from women about what takes them out of the running)
• The largest brain study ever shows that women are actually wired for leadership
• The most important things to do in a systems-wide change
• How being a father could change everything for everyone’s daughters
• what does it mean to leverage the female advantage .. and what does it take?

Please do join us in Sydney on Tuesday. BOOK HERE to be included in this invitational event   – last bookings at noon Monday 25th. And space is limited so book now.

Watch my 3-minute video where I talk about all this and how Australia could lose its competitive edge after dropping nine positions and out of the top 20 countries, in the latest Global Gender Gap Report (GGG) just published by the World Economic Forum (WEF).

The WEF says that it is possible to address the problem of gender imbalance and disparity if you can measure it so they started a system to do this in 2006. The GGG report investigates and rates how countries across the world are empowering women in each of four areas: economically, politically, access to health care and education. Out of 136 countries the most equitable distribution of wealth and opportunity for women is in Iceland, with all the Nordic countries appearing in the top 10 rankings. Australia is now ranked at 24.

Sydney event: how women are wired for leadership

Commentary from the video:

Here I am in sunny Sydney where I am catching up with the many conversations happening around women’s leadership.  It’s a fact that there are way too few women at the top!  Attention has been drawn to this particularly since the World Economic Forum published the Global Gender Gap report this month.

During the time of their new measurement system, Australia has dropped out of the top 20 countries, and gone down nine positions to number 24. The WEF says that it is possible to address the problem of gender imbalance and disparity if you can measure it so they started a system to do this in 2006. They investigate and rate how countries across the world are empowering women in each of four areas: economically, politically, access to health care and education. Out of 136 countries the most equitable distribution of wealth and opportunity for women is in Iceland, with all the Nordic countries appearing in the top 10 rankings.

A recent initiative in Australia is called Male Champions of Change, where 21 CEOs and leading industry men are investigating what they can do in their own organisations and supply chain companies to increase the pipeline of women for promotion to the top. It’s brilliant, they are really looking to speed things up.

Now at the opposite end of that activity we have a new prime minister in Australia who was just named his new cabinet with 18 men and one woman: it’s been pointed out that this is two less than Afghanistan.  To say it is disappointing is really an understatement

Why is that?  Are there really so a few senior, qualified,  experienced women to choose from? I don’t think so. Part of it must be because we have an old system, old way of working and looking at things………  I don’t think they see the women who are there.

So two things need to happen:
1) firstly we need to change the system so women can be seen
Secondly, we women need to make ourselves more visible
And this is what I shall be talking about next week in Sydney. See here for details of the Feminine Leadership workshop on Wed Nov 27th.

I think an important distinction in this whole process is that we don’t want positions long held by men, vacated then replaced by women …… and then those females having to adapt themselves (consciously and unconsciously) to fit into that position and adapt to the way that men have traditionally run things.

Of course women will try to bring their personal stamp and they do but we’re not really leveraging our difference enough. We need feminine leadership …. not simply an increase in the headcount of women leaders. That will bring about the change that is needed.

So much new information is coming in now that shows we are different to men and have  different ways of seeing and relating to the world.   There is something different that women bring to the table which is relatively unexamined and not understood. Brain research is a relatively new science and research into female brains is even newer.  Gender does make a big difference.

I love Dr Daniel Amen’s new research that he says points to women actually being wired for leadership.   This American neuro-scientist has conducted the largest brain study ever looking at 46,000 brain scans.

The new insights gleaned from his study led Dr Amen to conclude that women’s brains are actually wired for leadership.   Activity in the front part of the brain, the pre-frontal cortex, makes women’s brains much more powerful. Dr Amen says this gives females five unique strengths with a dramatically enhanced capacity built into their brains for five qualities that are important for leadership today.

I’m going to be talking about those in more detail at an event in Sydney…

Join me for the conversation. It’s time for us to step forward and be willing to bring our whole authentic, feminine selves to the change process that the world needs.

More women needed on Boards

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Dr David Paul, feminine leadership, Gina Lazenby, women on boards, women's confidence

Here is the second video in the series on Feminine Leadership taken from my discussions in Sydney with Dr David Paul, a professor of, and expert in, leadership and complex change.    I’ve had really great feedback from the first one that went out last week: thank you for sharing all your positive comments with me.

This segment of our conversation is where we talk about getting more women onto company boards and later David shares some practical ways that women can have more influence in creating the change that the world needs.

Much has been written about the glass ceiling that is keeping women out of the top echelons of power in corporations.  In March this year, the UK’s Cranfield School of Management said that the percentage of women on the boards of the UK’s 100 largest-listed companies had risen over the past year to a record 15.6%, from 12.5% the year before. Numbers are inching forward it seems but still painfully low although in Germany and Australia numbers have gone down and in Italy half the companies still have no female directors at all.

I think there are many reasons why women are not there in greater numbers and it’s not just because the influential chairmen and male directors don’t invite them. Apart from the fewer opportunities, I think that there are less women ready and available at that level for selection.

In the video David talks about women not feeling confident. It’s a sentiment echoed by Financial Times columnist Heather MacGregor who wrote an article earlier this year in the FT magazine about eight women role models who successfully developed careers that have led them to Board level. Heather said that women often ask “Am I capable?” a question she says, most men wouldn’t even think of asking!  Lyn Wood, a high-flying exec in Australia was quoted in the Sunday Life news magazine as saying that “women lack the confidence to aim for the top job ….. if you don’t believe in yourself others won’t either”.

Why do we doubt ourselves? I hear it all the time when I talk with women in women’s gatherings all over the world. It’s not every woman but it seems that no matter how successful a woman can be, many still have a nagging self doubt. I think in a world where the male gender has been, and in many respects still is, more important than the female and where opportunities for women, particularly in government and corporations, are only available when men give way or allow us to rise.  This seems to gives men an in-born sense of entitlement (both conscious and unconscious) that most of us women just don’t feel. Elizabeth Broderick, Australia’s Sex Discrimination Commissioner, talks about a “belief barrier” in Australia of deeply ingrained cultural beliefs “that a good mum should be at home with the kids, and that the ideal worker is available 24/7, has no visible caring responsibilities and is usually male”.

WATCH VIDEO:  Gina Lazenby in conversation with Dr David Paul, 2nd video in the series of seven

You read anywhere the advice given by other women about how they rose to the top and they will talk about sacrifice, difficult choices and the need to work hard and prove their competence. When you hear that you know that women are trying to fit in to a corporate world that was designed over the last century by men and for men (all of whom had the support of wives back home until the last few decades). Women may be working within that system now in huge numbers but we did not create the culture – we are simply adapting to a masculine culture which I don’t believe serves the women or the men who have to operate inside it. People seem to survive corporate life, but few really thrive in it. Time and again in our women’s circles, talented, professional women share how they opted out because they could not cope with the culture and could not align with the values. All that is bound to undermine us and dent our confidence.

I could write so much more here but right now I am really interested to hear of your experience and whether you feel confidence has ever been an issue for you? Has a lack of self-belief ever shown up in your life, and how?  It has certainly been an issue for me and during these last few years I have been exploring its roots as I have questioned what it is I am here to do. I’ve been examining how I have developed a set of soft skills which aren’t always visible and are therefore don’t seem to be valued. That makes it hard for me to fully appreciate what I am good at!

Does that resonate for you at all?

David goes on to talk about the need for women to initiate transformative conversations to accelerate change.  He shares some practical ways in which we can do that. He reinforces that necessary changes usually only take effect when initiated at the grassroots level which forces the leadership at the top to listen and follow. Right now, when the world is looking for new answers, he says the new ideas will come from women.  So there is a clear message here for us to raise our own levels of self belief and lead from our inner power. WATCH THE VIDEO