Factors affecting success – what women can bring

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Deloittes

The factors affecting success: what women bring that is different

Last week on the 44th floor of what is (or perhaps once was) the tallest building in Benelux, a group of business women gathered and decided how to spend 250,000 Euros on their new venture. They were told they could not borrow any money from the bank and they had to quickly make a series of decisions which would determine whether they went bankrupt or survived and in the process, do right by the planet.

Not quite a normal day in business but then this was a game set up by Deloittes to test entrepreneurial skills and adeptness in an increasingly fast-changing world that demands profitably AND sustainability.  What made the day a little more unusual was the fact that all the participants were women. This was to be a uniquely female-only venture into successful business planning. I wondered what that might be like…

I’d had the privilege of speaking to these women in a keynote prior to the game (see transcript in previous blog post) and was also given the opportunity to have a bit of feminine influence on how the game was played. I only made some small changes but I could see that they did have an impact.

It was an interesting experiment. Here is my account of how it went with my insights summarized at the bottom…..

1. Let’s start with the tables – the physical preparation for success!    You have to pay attention to the way the environment creates the atmosphere and shapes the narrative. Are you setting the space to support debate and argument or consensus?   So first off, I wanted to change the layout of the room. As is standard for meetings, the hospitality team had spent some time getting all the lines perfectly straight with the rectangular tables. I just knew it was important to re-arrange everything. Round tables really help to bring people together as a group and build community but that was not an option here. We couldn’t do anything about the table shape so we created a herring-bone V-shape which felt much better. The room was still neat but there was more flow. It’s a subtle intervention which can have a powerful effect on the outcomes.

2. Turning a room full of strangers into a community:  

   Few of the women knew each other and this game was going to test everyone’s capacity to contribute quickly. That’s a little harder when you are sitting with strangers. When the going gets tough in business it’s the relationships you already have in place that will stand you in good stead. So I devised a warm-up bonding session to help create community very quickly. Read about the Power of Circle below. It worked a treat.

3. The Power of Circle for community building and bonding:

   For the warm-up, we had four teams, so the women took their chairs away from the tables to make 4 tight-knit groups. This supported everyone having a closer connection without the table acting as a barrier. They were given just 2 minutes each to share what had inspired them to be who they are in life now. I gave each woman an inspiration card with a random word on it and an abstract symbol.  They were to share their story in the context of this image and/or word … whatever it meant to them. That way, their thinking would move into the more expansive right brain which would elicit a get a deeper sharing. When a question makes one think, one really never knows what one is going to come up with so there’s a need to delve a little deeper …. with much richer rewards and insights!   It’s fun, it’s intuitive and it starts to engage other parts of our selves.

4. Getting everyone primed for attentive listening: 

   At first, the idea of sitting in a circle for a discussion sounds and looks a bit alien in a corporate setting, but once you are in it, it actually feels very comfortable.  Bring in a talking stick and that is of course another off-beat addition. The idea of a circle is that it supports everybody speaking, everybody being heard one at a time. What the talking stick does is let a person speak when they feel it is the right moment for them.  You can either speak in turn or allow whoever wants to go next as the mood and energy changes with the conversation. You just need to be the one holding the talking stick, or whatever is serving as the totem, and everyone else is attentive and listening. The sharing circle worked well and a community had started to form. They were beginning to get the measure of who they were and what different contributions would likely be made.

5. Game on – how will decisions be made: 

   So the programme started with each team being asked to make a series of decisions on what kind of business they would be and what strategies they would use so there was quite a lot of debate before the game actually began. The room was filled with discussion. The players later reported on their enjoyment of their democratic approach of letting everyone speak their piece and give input into the decisions being made by really feeling heard.

6. I had been asked to observe and make comments on the communication process. As the game progressed I noticed one team were further ahead so I paused the process to ask how they were managing the debate. Interestingly they were using the talking stick (in their case a green stone) taking it in turns to hold the veto or casting vote for each decision. They had taken the time early on to discuss how they would manage decision-making and it was paying off.

7. How female only teams were different:

   To say that the groups were playing a game with a time pressure, there was a tremendous sense of calm in the room. The conversations and debate had been polite, friendly with very intentional listening which had created a very harmonious atmosphere.  The groups were all very engaged and there seemed to be a strong sense of focus and togetherness with barely anyone leaving the room for a break. It was hard to interrupt them.

8. A lot of space had been created for deep listening. The groups ensured all questions were handled in a democratic way, everybody was heard fully.
9. A spirit of friendly competition still remained in this very collaborative atmosphere. There was a desire to win but as I overheard the debates, I sensed an even stronger desire to do the right thing. There was a commitment to harmony and the elegance of conversation with everyone’s contribution respected.
10. What I notice consistently in female-only groups working together is a strong desire to do whatever it takes to preserve the relationships.
11. How things are done are held as important. Good process is valued and is protected against a strong focus on simply achieving the outcomes, especially if the community and relationships are look like they will be compromised along the way.

In summary:
It would be a mistake to conclude from this exercise that women-only groups are in any way better. What does emerge, is an opportunity to witness feminine energy be more present in the business context in the absence of any men participating. It is a chance for women to have a greater understanding of what happens when feminine qualities are magnified away from the presence of men. As I pointed out to the group during our concluding insights, research shows that balanced teams are more successful than male-only or female-only.

Both genders are bringing something different. This occasion was an opportunity to get a greater sense of what women can bring that is different from the dominant male culture.

• Deeper listening: The circle style of conversation provided a communication structure that better supported this.
• Inclusive debate: The groups exhibited a higher level of commitment to making sure that all were heard.
• Relationships were valued. There was a high level of sensitivity as many participants were working together for the first time
• Decision-making seemed to be very inclusive with all contributions sought and welcomed; and even those who were against the majority decision were given airtime to check that their views were included.

 

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How women can lead with their feminine qualities

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Deloittes

I was invited to Deloittes Netherlands to talk about how women can develop an edge in their leadership by embracing more of their feminine qualities and values. The world in the second decade of the 21st century is one that is requiring more collaborative working styles and more empathetic, intuitive, compassionate environments that are increasingly being shown to help people thrive … and as a consequence these are bringing in more profit. With some of the largest companies in the world now showing a greater profitably when they have more women on the Board and in executive positions, compared to those led by male-only boards, the question of how to leverage the power of women in a way that is not being done now, needs to be at the top of every company agenda.

Deloittes have a Women-to-the-Top initiative and three of their women leaders, Marieke Treffers, Kelly Pender  and Hilary Richters invited me over from the UK to speak at a women-only session where they planned to play a Business Game that tests your leadership and collaborative decision-making skills. I was to providing the pre-game content that spoke of the power of feminine leadership. Here is a brief summary of what I talked about with other blog posts (to come) that will share more insights from the day ……

• I noted how unusual it is for women to gather in a business professional setting without any men. We don’t often have that chance, if at all. Usually, if we ever meet as women-only it is in more social contexts and environments. Today we were going to play with that opportunity to experience the difference of just using our feminine energy.
• My passion is to explore new solutions to create change in the world. This includes looking at new kinds of leadership and specifically what women can bring …not just ourselves as part of a gender headcount, but our feminine qualities and traits. These are so often held back because they are not welcomed and embraced by the Dominant Culture. As most corporate people say …. that soft stuff is a bit of a distraction and not seen as relevant to the main thrust of business.
• In explaining my work and writing about the Rise of the Feminine (title of my forthcoming book) it is important to note that the bigger picture is about men and women working together and blending their different energies and contributions, once they have been recognised. It’s all about balanced teams, balanced decision-making and balanced leadership.
• I noted that progress has been slow.  The journey that women have made in the last four decades in particular, from the kitchen and home to being able to be Captains of Industry, and not just half the workforce, is stellar when you look back over hundreds of years of being held back and marginalised. However in the second decade of the 21st century, women are anything from 2% of CEOs (top 100-200 companies) and 5-20% of Board Members. Will we ever make it to 50% or the 40% that some countries are regulating for?  New thinking is needed.
• Whilst regulations for Company Board positions are a key driver, they don’t necessarily solve the problem and keep women in the pipeline that serves those top exec positions within companies. Women are not always leaving because they can’t get through the glass ceiling .. some don’t like what they see on the other side of the glass and are unwilling to pay the price.  Big change is needed and that takes a higher level of engagement by women, actively supported by men. In fact, there’s a need for men to move from simply approving female-focussed initiatives to driving them and really getting behind the problem.
• So why don’t women make it up through the pipeline? I talked about how many women report that they feel unseen, misunderstood, unheard by men … yes there is actual research to show that some men (and it amplifies with age) cannot hear the softer higher tones of women. (I have written about that before).
• I explained the cultural undercurrents that form so much of the conscious and unconscious conditioning of human societies. The work of Dr Riane Eisler and her book “Caring Economics & The Real Wealth of Nations” provides an excellent blueprint for explaining how so much of what women stand for and contribute is perceived as being worth less in society today.  Dr Eisler talks about the two opposing paradigms for organising human behaviour: Hierarchy and Partnership.
• The Dominant Culture today, so very steeped in hierarchy is having challenges adapting to the changes that are coming as women and feminine values rise.   A recent example I quoted is the news article reporting that female CEOs are more likely to be fired than their male counterparts…. seven times more likely if they have come from outside the organisation.  Men are far less patient of any perceived failing performance by women. I recently discovered a new phrase that describes this … the GLASS CLIFF.
• I documented my own journey from being a bullied senior exec leaving a top job in the newspaper industry in the mid 1980s (now that’s a LOOOONG time ago!!) which then spurred me into being a successful and award-winning business owner. I was definitely Action Woman completely embracing all my masculine achievement traits (quite unconsciously), even in my own enterprise, and that led to serious burn-out and a long period of re-invention in new fields. Over the years, and a phase feeling very invisible and lost as an older woman in a society favouring youth, I found my new direction and energy by understanding what my feminine qualities could bring to my life and success. My latest incarnation, called by poet George Hardwick an “entrepreneurial queen of grace” feels a better description of a new and more productive, wiser, authentic self.
• I proposed that the era of women striving to be seen as Equal and the Same, where the conversation is about women being able to do a job as good-as-a-man, needs to be replaced with Equal and Different. Now it is the time for women to reconnect with their unexplored feminine side, become familiar with these traits, and bring them to bear in the much-needed transition process to a new way of working, living, being and leading.
• The Athena Doctrine book and research data of 64,000 people was referenced. This is a superb resource. Co-author John Gerzema writes about 32,000 people canvassed for their opinion on which of a long list of values were either feminine, masculine or neutral. Another 32,000 people across the globe were asked to list the qualities of the ideal modern leader. Not surprisingly (well not to me) 90% of those traits are feminine with the research vocalising that people (men and women) expressly want to turn away from proud, independent, uncollaborative leadership styles… so very much a signature of the Dominant Culture. If ever there was a mandate for women to step forward and lead change as their authentic selves, the Athena Doctrine provides the evidence and blueprint.
• These feminine values and traits have been left out of the corporate sphere for so long that it is very difficult for most people, men and women, to grasp how to bring them in. I shared stories about where I have seen collaboration, community-building, inclusive-thinking, healing and compassion played out at the highest level on the world stage. Change is happening and role models for different decision-making and leadership practised by both men and women, are there for us to follow now.
• Practical tools were promised and I talked through a number of ways that women can act, think and speak differently to leverage their feminine power. The two main recommendations were 1) to utilise the circle as an advanced and simple methodology for communication in meetings where everybody is more engaged, and 2) for women to focus on community-building in their organisations instead of simply networking. It is in these community gatherings, women can practice holding their personal power in a different way. The rewards of both circle communication and women-only gatherings are outstanding for higher levels of engagement, performance and success.
• My Keynote now completed we moved on to the next part of the event which was the playing of a business game that allows teams to explore (in an online business fantasy world) the impacts of risk-taking, and the pressure to make quick decisions in a fast-changing world to sustain a profitable business where the context is securing the needs of people, profit and planet.  Of course, working together as a team is important to the game so as a primer, I led a pre-game session of community building.
• There is nothing quite like sitting in a circle sharing stories to bring a group of strangers together quickly and help build relationship for effective working.
• Sharing a personal story that introduces you is a particularly powerful way to bond.
• Read my next blog post for more insights from this day

If you want to review the actual slides then check them out on my slideshare profile